Lesson Learned: It takes work to find your human
It’s time to write my first post on this site. I’ve had it built for over three months. And, I’ve been delaying. This weekend is a great time.
Why?
Because, this weekend is the perfect example of why I’m starting this blog. There’s been a lot said about me. I’m going to get into it at the moment. But, there are a lot of assumptions about who I am and what I mean when I say things. I’m going to try to be as clear as I can on this site, going forward.
Hi, I’m Christopher Salute and I own multiple plus size media properties. I have been attracted to solely plus size women since age 6. There are a million theories as to why, but is that really important? I’ve been pretty vocal about my attraction (Hence the “Must Have Curves” title, which is literally what has been on my dating profile for years) and how I think it’s ridiculous that people find it so intriguing. But, if we’re going to ask questions, I’ll try to come up with some answers!
This weekend, I was hosting a small gathering. I was surrounded by humans. And, I’d never felt more alone. This is not a new phenomenon for me… or for anyone for that matter. Those who are often the life of the party wind up feeling a bit secluded. I’m not being a martyr. It just is what it is.
The gathering was great. I don’t drink much, anymore. I don’t like the way it makes me feel. So, two hard seltzers and some diet 7Ups later, I was feeling pretty good: sober, happy, and glad that I got so many folks together from different groups and walks of life. People were playing games, making new friends, exchanging numbers and cigarettes outside. Not me… I don’t smoke, but a cigar once in a while. But, it was good to see everyone enjoying their time together.
Towards the end of the night, people started leaving. That’s customary, right? I went to bed after cleaning, quite a bit. And then… I literally put my arms out to grab my human. And, as I fell back into my bed, exhausted and relaxed, I realized that I didn’t have a human. Not a human in sight. Everyone had left. I had nobody to text to come over to lay with me. I had nobody who could feel the same feelings I felt and breathe my breaths with me.
Before you feel badly for me, please remember that I’ve had the chance to have a human. I’ve been married once, engaged twice, and have just gotten out of a somewhat long term relationship with a human that I loved more than I have loved anyone… ever. I also date quite a bit. I just haven’t settled down. I am often my harshest critic, but I think we can agree on a few things:
- I’m a tough guy to handle with my arrogant to self deprecating roller coaster.
- For some reason, even amidst controversy, there’s never a shortage of beautiful humans who want to work with me, and that could make some people feel insecure ( I do not mix business and pleasure, but I can see where some would get them confused).
- I’m a natural flirt with my friends and I discuss non-monogamy, often.
- As thoughtful as I am about others, I have a LOT going on in my own life and often do take center stage, even if I shouldn’t.
The last human who was my human was the most incredibly intelligent, passionate, beautiful and challenging human I have ever encountered… humanly. I still wish that we had worked out. But, I have faith in God that she will be happy and I will be happy, even if it’s not together. And, a little bit of that faith is aimed at the idea that maybe we have one more fight left in us. I know I do.
So, here we are, writing, laying in bed, alone…. personless… and I have to wonder how that changes. I haven’t figured out the answer, yet, but I think it goes something like this:
- Treat it seriously. Focus on who you want to be your partner.
- If you don’t have someone in mind, really think that about what that person looks like and where you might find them. For me, it might be church or another university. I haven’t figured that out, yet.
- Actual get to know the people in your life before dismissing them.
- Keep your circle smaller so that you have time to really manage your relationships.
- Work less, be you more, and make time for the people who you want to matter.
There’s nothing groundbreaking happening in this first post. It’s just an introduction. Here’s more of what you can expect here:
- Each post will be discussing a lesson learned and an example of how I have learned it
- I will NOT be discussing specific humans and experiences with them without their permission. I mean, saying “that human was attractive or intelligent” is fine
- I will be trying to get as real as possible with you, while protecting the privacy of former partners
I hope you guys enjoy your time here. As always, BE BOLD!
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